Better yet, if you drive, have the friend sit in your car with your child as you’re making your way home. “But a good way to actually get them talking is to invite a friend round to your home. “It can be disheartening for a parent when that happens because you need that information in order to be able to connect with them and to also help them with any problems they might be encountering. The child might say they’re too tired, or simply can’t be bothered, to go into any details. “Clearly this won’t work for everyone - and there might be certain dangers associated with the job you do that makes bringing a child there simply impossible - but if you are able to, even just bringing them to your workplace for half an hour or so will help take the pressure off the parent and make things more understandable for the child.”ĭr Bourke says: “Lots of parents will complain that their child doesn’t really talk to them about their day once you pick them up from school or nursery. Arming them with the knowledge that you have to be at work, and might not necessarily be able to drop them off or pick them up from school, is invaluable. “And, for me, something that might really help is increasing the transparency about your work and profession to make the child more comfortable.
“But it’s important you don’t let these feelings negatively impact your relationship with your child. “You might have really appreciated the chance to spend extra time with your family during the pandemic and now feel as if the rug has pulled from underneath you somewhat after returning to your workplace.
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“And from my own recent professional experiences, parental separation anxiety has become a real issue for many mums and dads since the end of work-from-home guidance. Speaking specifically about primary school-age children, she explains: “Separation anxiety is a two-way street and it can affect parents just as much as it affects children. The October half-term might have posed new challenges when it comes to separation anxiety, particularly if parents aren’t able to take any time off work.īut Dr Bourke says a key tactic in warding off separation anxiety - for both children and parents - is to take the time to show your kids where you work and try to fill them in on precisely what you do. She describes it as the guilt and the anguish associated with parents forced to spend less time with their children after they stopped working from home and returned to offices - often unable to complete the school drop-off and pick-up.ĭr Bourke, an expert in cognitive and developmental psychology, says these feelings of guilt, and even shame, can lead to a ‘negative cycle’ that can really impact on the relationship between a parent and young person. She’s concerned lots of mums and dads in the UK might still be suffering from ‘parental separation anxiety’ since schools reopened last month. That’s according to Dr Lorna Bourke, a Principal Lecturer in Psychology at Liverpool Hope University and a specialist when it comes to primary school years development.
Being more open about your job - and even showing your child where you work - might be an unusual way to banish dreaded separation anxiety for both youngsters and parents.
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